San Diego, CA, USA

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Let's keep it real






                  If you asked me 3 years ago I wouldn’t have known how to answer. I probably would have said participate in school activities, play around, do fun things all the time. Fast forward to now… I have a 3 year old and 2 year old, basically surviving motherhood by prayer.

                  Nothing in this World could have prepared me for this much amazingness and exhaustion. Sometimes my days start to blend together and I can’t remember what I did the day before. THEN I started stressing out wondering if I can’t remember because I’m tired or if there is something seriously wrong with my health (My husband calls this Hypochondriac, I say, ‘I’m aware’).  Anyways, getting back on track… Motherhood to me is a rollercoaster that never stops. Sometimes we’re riding high, we’re unstoppable, and flat out killin’ it at this mom thing. Other times it feels like we’re going down and there is no going up. You know the times where you find yourself on the floor crying, asking Jesus to step in and help. (If you haven’t been there yet… just wait, we all struggle at times). Then there’s the part of the roller coaster where you go upside down and ask yourself WTF just happened?! Right when you think all is good, you get tossed upside down, hold on for dear life, and then suddenly have to pull yourself together again to make it look like nothing happened.

                  Even though there are highs and lows, motherhood is the most incredible experience. I never thought I could love so hard… yes hard. These two little kiddos are my everything and I learned quickly that every struggle I ever faced and every unanswered prayer led to this season of my life. A season filled with so much love, tons of laughs, memories I will always hold onto, new traditions, and some of the best dance parties I’ve ever participated in!

                  My kids have taught me a lot about myself and who it is I truly want to be. They’ve taught me to be more in the moment, how to not care and live your life, patience (which is still work in progress), but most of all they make me want to try to be the best version of myself.

During these last three years though I will say I’ve laughed like never before, but at the same time I’ve had some major mommy meltdowns. I struggle all the time, I never realized how independent I really was until I had kids. There are days when all I want to do is disappear and catch my breath, I’ve had moments where I needed to walk away and cry, I’ve had to explain to my kids that mommy needs a minute as I hold back tears, and there have been times when all I could think to do was pray for strength and patience. This mommy gig is no joke, but although there are times were it may not be so fun, it is still the greatest joy.

I realize one day I’m going to miss this, so through the ups and downs of this roller coaster I promise as a mommy I will always be present. I will cherish the good and bad days and I will always love Colton and Brooklyn unconditionally. They are my greatest accomplishment and I am so honored that God chose me to be their mama.

I love you Colton and Brooklyn-